twodoebs

I love the Steelers. Really, I do.

But this morning, I happened on an article on their website titled, "Steelers to Delay Naming of Team Mascot." The Steelers are apparently adding a mascot to their team, no doubt in response to some marketing flunky's report on ways to enhance the fan experience.

And THIS, my friends, is a picture of what the new mascot's to be:

What, you might ask, the HELL is this thing. I don't have an answer for that. Drunk . . . I'm gonna say that any analysis of what to make of this deranged lunatic HAS to start with the postulate that whatever he is, he's drunk.

He looks as if Burt from Sesame Street lost his job at the steel mill, had a moderate break from reality, stopped shaving for a week, and airbrushed a World War I helmet to VAGUELY resemble a Steelers football helmet. Then--PRESUMABLY wanting to disembowel the Seattle Seahawks fans that he sees as representing the new electronic-age economy that caused the demise of his way of life (without, of course, soiling his AWESOME yellow-plaid shirt)--he dressed up in his 1980s-era bib-overall snow-pants and over-sized cooking mitts. And now, for WHATEVER reason, he's a a nearby high school . . . maybe just waiting for August 5, when football returns to Heinz Field.

The good news, though, is that with THIS thing leading us to victory, the sixth ring's SURE to . . . well, it might take a while.