twodoebs

Random Thoughts From Our Random Minds

Sunday, June 12, 2005

 

Thoughts From Pittsburgh

By: doebtown
So I'm in Pittsburgh for the weekend, spending some time with my folks and helping them with a few household chores. And I met up with Schmarbo-Schmast, Arch, and Peggy last night to watch the Tyson fight (so sum up the article in a phrase, "Tyson is washed up"--sorry, Arch). I was only there for a few hours, but a few things occurred to me.

FIRST--Silent Readers of doebtown
The purpose of doebtown is for me to have an outlet by which to express the crazy things that go on in my head. To let my life be an open book, so to speak. So I have absolutely NO qualms with people--whether they are friends in the brick-and-mortar world or just people that I don't know that have stumbled onto doebtown in one way or another--stopping in and seeing what I've posted. BUT, I was surprised to hear that there are regular readers who are too "keyboard shy" to chime in when they've got something to contribute. PLEASE, let it be heard by all that doebtown WELCOMES everyone to voice their thoughts . . . "information--and our useless opinions--WANTS to be free!"

SECOND--eHarmony
I've got to . . . I can't deny myself any longer. eHarmony is a great website that provides a much needed service, which is not available anywhere else. While--as previously discussed , I UNDERSTAND that eHarmony does not accommodate everyone's lifestyles--I simply do not understand the logic of people who scoff eHarmony simply because it is *online* dating. I've got news for people who think this way: we live in an online world . . . the internet--are you READY for this?--makes things BETTER! In my opinion (and it is, to be fair, only my humble opinion) the idea of dating yet not giving eHarmony a chance would be as foolish as wanting to buy a car yet not doing research on the internet . . . if NOTHING else, eHarmony vastly expands one's network of potential dates.

THIRD--Dispelling Rumors
One of the reasons I originally started doebtown was to have one place where people could check in and see what's going on in my life. Last night, I realized that I have not been COMPLEATLY forthright with what I'm up to these days and, as a result, there are inaccurate, confusing, and speculative ideas going around regarding my going's-on. And while I'm SURE it's self-indulgent to think that anyone really CARES what I'm doing, it's crazy that someone can be confessing to "reading [my] blog all the time" and yet is still misinformed regarding where I am and where I'm going. So, in an effort to be MORE forthright, allow me to explain exactly what I'm up to.

I'm currently between jobs. I was unhappy at my last job at the television company on the Jersey Shore, so I quit. I got out of my lease and moved out of my apartment. I'm currently living with Kati (it's a misstatement to say that we're living together, 'cause what is REALLY happening is that she is gratuitous enough to allow me to live with her) in Jersey City while I look for another job. Realizing that the happiest I've been in the last few years was when I was working in criminal law, I'm looking to get into one of the New York City District Attorney's Offices. Along these lines, there are a FEW irons in the fire and I'm very hopeful that one will come out hot very soon. There are currently no plans for me to move back to Pittsburgh or anywhere else outside of New York State, as this is the current geographic limitation on my license to practice law. Some preliminary plans HAVE been discussed to address the contingency of what I'll do if I'm unsuccessful at finding suitable employment in New York, but at this point, they're nothing more than just that--contingency plans.


Comments:
Woah . . . that one came out of nowhere 'cause I have NO idea who this R. U. Serious character is. BUT, seeing as how I JUST finished posting an invitation for ALL to put their comments up here, I'll gratefully reply.

Be "careful" with online dating?--well, to be SURE, be "careful" with dating in general. But--as was so astutely pointed out--there are crazies everywhere, whether you're meeting them through your best friend, R. U. Serious, or Dr. Neil Clark Warren.

What I'm more concerned about is the *stigma* associated with online dating by the more small-minded set. And, really, it's NOT that I'm trying to convince myself that online dating is alright just 'cause that's how I met my girlfriend . . . I'm "riding the wave" and I KNOW it. It's that I know I have friends out there who hate their jobs, wish they had a girlfriend, and are generally bored. And while I can't FIX any of that, I CAN encourage them to set aside the snickering that may be going on behind my back regarding online dating and give eHarmony a try!

BTW, Mr. Serious has a pretty great blog with HIS insights into the dating world. I was particularly fond of his list of things he's learned in the last two years!

 

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In defense of online dating...
Firstly I don't even like calling it that because while YES we MET online- we dated VERY much in person.

The positives of a site like eHarmony aren't necessarily the "personality assesments and matching" (but those ARE nice), rather a site like this allows you the opportunity to meet people you wouldn't have otherwise. The reason I joined (and ps, didn't tell most of my friends or family at first to try and hide from unwanted snickering) was because as you live your life and go to work, go to bars with your friends, spend time with family-- you start to dig into ruts. You socialize with co-workers and friends and occassionally meet someone nice. But as life gets busier and more things begin to tax your time you simply can't meet NEW people. Unlike the college years where there were new people around every corner, 'grown up life' is different. ALL I was looking for was some new people, and hopefully find something special.

I do understand 'snickering', because the image of online dating began with the weirdos and losers who couldn't find dates "on their own". But like Bono says "Sometimes you can't make it on your own". And those very preconceived notions of the 'losers' I would likely meet on eHarmony almost kept me from going through with it. But trust me, for as many of my friends who are meeting people online and with our relationship as proof...meeting online is no crazier or stranger than meeting someone at a bookstore.

 

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