twodoebs
Random Thoughts From Our Random MindsFriday, May 06, 2005
Why Can't Lynndie Plead Guilty?
By: doebtownWhy Can't Lynndie Plead Guilty?
Well, I THOUGHT about cutting and pasting the famous pictures of Pfc. England up here with some smart and witty caption, such as: "Really Stefanie? She's NOT white trash?" And I went so far as to go find websites that I could get them from. But--to be honest--it makes me so sick that I really don't WANT those pictures on my blog.
THEN, I thought about having one of the professional (and multi-talented) editors upstairs Photoshop a picture of STEFFER'S face onto one of the pictures of Pfc. England's pose (I thought maybe the picture of her leading one of the prisoners around with the dog leash would be a little nod to Bullet). But somehow--and I guess this is just a sign that I'm getting older--that didn't seem appropriate, EITHER.
My NEXT thought was a simple one line response making fun of Stefanie's current state of residence . . . something along the lines of: "Just because you live in TENNISSEE--which makes West Virginia look downright sophisticated--doesn't mean you need be the champion of the country's backwoods people, EVERYWHERE."
But then I realized something, Big Sister. You're just a more tolerant person than I am. I look an Lynndie England and I get ANGRY. I can't understand why she would do something SO stupid. I can't wrap my mind around why she would be so UGLY (and when I say ugly, I'm not referring ONLY to her totally awesome haircut, her magnificently dangling cigarette, and all her other *cosmetic* features, but ALSO her depravity of class and good taste that she repeatedly demonstrates). And I do . . . I seek out the least-common-denominator characteristics and use them to humorously rationalize why she acts that way. Am *I* trashy for responding that way? Well, I guess that's up to you.
And with that, I'll ALSO suggest some contemporary poetry:
"I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all"
And--in the immortal words of my hero, Forrest Gump--"that's all I have to say about that."
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