twodoebs

I'm really excited!

At the same time, I'm going through a daily struggle to practice what I preach--that everything happens for a reason. I've been going over it all in my head the last two days: everything I've read and told myself during tough times in my life in the past. There's the simple, yet powerful Prayer Of Jabez (ongoing thanks to Yak for that one!), there's my personal favorite, Matthew 6:25-34 (I'm ESPECIALLY fond of verse 34, there), the Prayer For Choosing A State Of Life (it's there, just kinda in the middle of the page) and--of course--there's the old, tried-and-true Lord's Prayer.

And these DO all have a religious bent to them. I don't think I'm unusual, here, that when times are tough or when I'm most in need of guidance, I turn back to religion. In fact, that's EXACTLY why I hold religion in such high esteem, despite it's obvious downfalls in today's society. Religion is practiced, so when confusion and personal chaos sets in, one falls back on religion. Religion, in turn, points the way to spirituality.

THAT'S off the subject. . . . Anyway, all of these passages feature the same idea: faith is the ability to do what God has in store for us. To truly live a life of faith, we must forgo our own agendas, goals, expectations, prides, and desires. Giving up control over what will come of us is the cornerstone to strong faith.

I KNOW all this stuff. I've READ all these passages before and leaned on them in tough times in the past. This is all part of the reason that I don't like to pray for particular things to happen (not, "God, please help me pass this test," but "God, guide me while I take this test so that I can help fulfill Your will"), why I don't like to say "I'm sorry" to people (not "I'm sorry I didn't get the contact signed," but "it's MY fault the contract didn't get signed, I'm upset about it, and I'll do everything I can to correct it"), and HOW I try to get myself through tough times.

But when times ARE tough, I typically find myself asking impossible questions: why does it have to be this way? maybe this is all rationalization. And all these faith based passages--BECAUSE they're grounded in God--take an extra spoonful of sugar to go down.

Which is why--come full circle!--I was SO pleased to see this analysis of "How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" by U2. It tells the story of Bono going through questions of faith on his own. And it helped--it really did. I was especially fond of the passage from "Love and Peace Or Else" (which, even before reading this article, was my most favoritest song on the album) where the author pulls out the lyrics:

As you enter this life
I pray you depart
With a wrinkled face
And a brand new heart

I don’t know if I can take it
I’m not easy on my knees
Here’s my heart you can break it . . .

It's all there! It's got the themes of faith, surrender, and trust . . . all without the God references that make mantra so hard to swallow when things aren't going my way. Really, U2 does me proud. They make my heart swell up and put a smile on my face. And--in an ironic show of fate--they give me something to look forward to: them!